A Writer’s Heart

writers heart

A Writer’s Heart

The written words of a writer are all as important as her spoken words, if not more so. With each stroke of the keypad, or with each placement of ink on paper, a writer shares with you a piece of her heart and soul. Sometimes that comes with a tear or two, some laughter, joy, fear or anger. A mix of many emotions, feelings and thoughts encompass each letter, word, sentence and paragraph.

When her head is filled up with so many twisted and tangled thoughts and emotions, sometimes writing them down is the only way to untangle them, to make some sense out of them, and to express them. She sees writing as a therapeutic process, a way to process all the mess in her mind and make some sense of all the emotions that have the ability to confuse and torment her.

She sees her writings as a way to share her heart and soul with the reader, whether it be intended for one single individual or an open writing for all to read. Her wish is that when you read her words you are able to sense and feel her emotions, all the mix of feelings in her heart she was experiencing while she attempted to transfer it all to paper the best as she could.

Each word she writes is an expression of her love, her compassion and her passion for the things she writes about. Everything written is a confession of the heart. Maybe more honest and true than anything else. When she writes to you or about you it is a result of all the love inside that she may not be able to express otherwise.

Sometimes the things she writes are so personal and so intimate that it is scary to share, with anyone. Sometimes her darkest corners peer into the light and fight to be written about. A part of coming out of her shell, expressing who she truly is inside, and helping the world to understand a little bit of who she is and why she does some of the things that she does is the process of opening up and sharing those things.

Writing is a process. It is an emotion within itself. It is a release and a way to share, or attempt to share the thoughts in the deepest crevices of her mind and her heart.

 

The Book Of Our Lives – Writers Block

This month will be the fourth year anniversary for me and Eric.  Each year, I write a new chapter in the book of our lives.   It serves as a highlight of our past year together.  The good times, the bad times, our milestones, our accomplishments, our struggles and most of all… Our Love.

I started working on Chapter Four this week.  This is the hardest chapter yet.   I looked back at the previous three chapters as a walk down memory lane.  Yet rather than making me smile, this time it made me sad.  It made me sad to see how much our relationship has changed… in a way that I did not want it to.  And because of that sadness, I found it very difficult to continue writing chapter four.

Year one was spent getting to know each other, learning to trust each other.  Breaking down the walls we put up to let each other in and to let each other help to heal the other from all of our past.  The second year was us growing into our new lives together.  Strengthening our bond and our commitment.  Knowing by then that it was he and I, until the end.  A year of continuing to grow together, transitions and milestones.  Year three was a struggle full of ups and downs.  We had fallen to lows that neither of us thought we would be at.  But through it all he stood by my side and continued to reinforce and prove to me his commitment, love and dedication to me, us and our relationship.  As hard as things got and as many struggles as we suffered and endured, we made it through and ultimately it brought us closer together.  It strengthened our bond and our commitment. Now, year four… it has been full of continued struggles.  Different struggles then we had conquered the past year.  Struggles that continue to put a strain on our relationship.  Yet what is different with this year is that I feel like rather than conquering these struggles and growing together as a couple, we are growing apart.  We are growing as individuals, yet unfortunately, growing apart.

This being why it has been difficult for me to write chapter four.  It is hard to look at the progression of our relationship over the years, and to feel like we have lost something somewhere along the line, to feel like we are growing apart and in different directions.  I have stopped several times and thought that once I was maybe in a different mood, or approached it with a different frame of mind, that I would have a more successful and less difficult time at writing.  So far, no such luck.