Why I Love Tuesdays So Much

Tuesday-love

Have I ever told you all why I love Tuesdays so much?  If you follow my facebook page you know I am always excited when Tuesday come around.  Sometimes I wish everyday could be a Tuesday.

Tuesdays are my one guaranteed “date night” with the love of my life.  When life gets hectic and schedules take over it is even more important than ever to make that time for each other.  Happily and excitedly, not reluctantly.

It all started in the Summer of 2009.  I call that “My Summer of Recovery and Discovery”.  Maybe I’ll write a separate blog about that some other time 😉  Two friends took a chance and fell in love with each other.  Because we were previously such good friends, all of our friends were all in the same group together.  We all hung out together all the time.  After Eric and I got together, it was difficult to find time alone together because we were always with all of our other friends.  Back then I had discovered that he was also a fan of wine and wine tasting and we decided to have a “wine night” and try a different wine together.  Tuesday became the day.  It was a day he didn’t have band practice, a day I didn’t already have things scheduled with other friends, and a day that my roommate at the time did have band practice and was gone for the evening.

We started to share Tuesday evenings together each week.  Sharing wine and conversation and getting to know each other better.  Five years later, we still have our Tuesday wine night date night together.  Our lives have changes, times have changed and our schedules have changed but our Tuesday nights have not.  Things got hectic with Eric in class, having band practice, and working mostly evenings but no matter what he has always made Tuesday nights unavailable for any other activities other than us.  Sometimes being the only night we had to actually spend the whole evening together, made it even more important and special

Maybe that is one of the reasons, among many others, why our relationship keeps growing stronger and stronger.  Through all the bad times and all the hardships we always come out on top.  We make a conscious effort to ensure we have that time together.  Relationships are hard work sometimes and require that maintaining and attention or they will become stagnant or fail.  Ours will not.

Some of my favorite Tuesday evenings involve the two of us cracking open a bottle of wine and cooking a fun dinner together.  We come up with some pretty amazing concoctions in the kitchen.  We love to play cards or board games and spend time with our furbabies.  We often just relax out on the balcony with our wine and good conversation, talking and sharing with each other.  Those are some of my most favorite times.  Staying home, just the two of us and blocking out the rest of the world.  Forgetting about our phones, the internet, television and other outside distractions and just enjoying each other.

Every couple needs one night a week together like this!  Whether you have children or not and no matter how hectic or busy your schedule is.  If it is something that is important to you, you will make time for it.  It is about priorities and you MUST make your relationship a priority.

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Happiness

 

They say that happiness is a state of mind.

Well, my state of mind is happy right now!  🙂

Lets go back to July of 2009.  Little did I know at the time that I had met the love of my life, the man  of my dreams.  A friendship between he and I had been growing and before the month’s end he would but aside all the cautions all of our friends told him and tell me how he feels about me.  Braving all consequences and the potential loss of a friendship.  But it was worth it.  As our relationship grew I was happier than I had ever been.  I had finally been able to see what real love is.  I had loved before, but never been in love.  But he, I fell totally and completely head over heals in love with.  He was everything I had ever hoped for, wanted and dreamed for… and more…. showing me what I never even knew I wanted.

Those next two years would be the best I had experienced.  Then somewhere along the line things started slowly changing.  Stressors, money and the everyday aspects of life begun to creep their way in between us.  One stressor built its way on top of another and before you knew it two years had gone by that was an emotional roller coaster ride.  Good times were amazing, but bad times were really bad.  Through all of the dark times my head told me to run but my heart would not let me.  I was holding on so tightly to the love we once shared.  The closeness that was once between us.  Longing for those times again, wishing for the past and dreading the present and future.

A change in state of mind was needed… for me and for him.  Once we BOTH realized and recognized that… we knew it was possible.  Things had to crash to the bottom and just about come to an end before we would open our eyes and see change was a necessity.  ..  For the both of us.

I changed my state of mind and how I react to many situations.  He changed his state of mind and behavior and attitudes towards me and our relationship. We started appreciating each other again, and placing more value on our relationship.  We made it a point to learn how to communicate with each other more effectively and in a more healthy manner and to talk about issues, no matter how small, immediately, rather than waiting for things to pile up and get bigger.  We are making more time for US… as hard as it is in this hectic life, with work, school, band, hobbies. friends and still making time for yourself.

And that leads me to today…I feel like our relationship is better than ever now.  I haven’t felt like that in a LONG time.  I felt like we had lost that connection and were drifting too far away from each other in totally different directions.  It takes work but it is possible to get it back. Everything was at stake… everything.  It was either find each other again or the worst possible option.   Even when things hit bottom, you can rebuild them.   You can find your common ground again and fall in love with each other all over again.  And honestly, falling in love with him all over again feels better than it did to first fall in love with him in the beginning.

For love… true love, it is worth every battle, every fight and every minute of the roller coaster ups and downs.  Because if, in the end, you are able to work out all of your differences and be even better than before… that makes it all worthwhile.

Anniversary Week/weekend

I didn’t want the weekend to be over!  It was pretty great.  A much needed, great weekend.

Sunday the 28th of July was our four year anniversary.

The weeks and days leading up to our anniversary week had been pretty stressful and filled with heartache and conflict, with the Sunday before being very much the day from hell.  After a revelation that evening and the next morning I was determined to do whatever it took to make things better.

To start off our Anniversary Week, Eric unexpectedly had Monday free after practice was canceled.  It was our Dharma day so we relaxed  most of the evening then I brewed some hot green tea and we prepared our Buddha shrine for our meditation.  We both sat in meditation for a while and then read passages from our Buddhism book together to celebrate Dharma Day.

Tuesday was our date night/wine night and I wanted to do something special.  Because of Dharma day being the day before, Eric was not drinking alcohol so we had to have our wine night without wine.  (On major Buddhist holidays he abstains from alcohol the day before, the day of, and the day after the holiday, per Buddhism custom.)  I took off half a day from work and came home and ordered some pasta and Caesar salad to be delivered right before Eric got home from work.  I knew neither of us had been eating very well lately and just wanted to surprise him.  We had a good late lunch/early dinner by candlelight.  Then we took a dip in the pool, played some God of War 11 in PS3, walked around the lake, took a late night moonlight walk to 7-11 for slurpees then some root beer floats.  It was a great Tuesday night.

I had initially taken Friday off.  Eric usually has Friday’s off so I thought it would be nice to spend the morning and afternoon together, to start our anniversary weekend.  But it turns out Eric had off Saturday rather than Friday… even better!  However, I still took the day off and took the opportunity to get some things done and recharge myself a little more.  I did come cleaning, napping, relaxing and shopping.  I went to get supplies for the weekend, and an anniversary card since our anniversary ( 4 years) was Sunday.  I picked up the movie Evil Dead, which I had been dying to see since it was out in the theater.  I  got some beer, popcorn and bloody mary supplies.  I texted Eric to let him know of our late night movie, popcorn and beer date night when he got out of class.  We had a great time, enjoyed the movie and stayed up way too late.  Saturday morning Eric got up to go to class and I slept in.

He got out of class and we packed up and headed to the beach.  It was fun spending a couple of hours lounging on the beach.  This was actually the first time this year we have been to the beach together, where last year we were there almost every weekend.   After we had our fill of sun and sand we headed home to shower and went to Jillians for some drinks, food and GAMES!  I had found a Groupon for game play and challenged Eric to a skee ball battle!  We had a lot of fun acting like big kids.  Drinking our gigantic beers and playing video games.  We even collected our tickets to exchange for prizes.  Such a fun time!

After we were all gamed out, we headed to the oceanfront to hear Maxx in his new band.  We met Sarah there and drank buckets of cocktails and enjoyed the sounds of the cover band on a warm summer night at the oceanfront.  We watched the clock tick down to Midnight and right at midnight we wished each other a Happy Anniversary with a toast, a hug and a kiss!  After the bar closed and they kicked us out we hung out with Sarah outside while Maxx packed up his gear.  I spotted a pizza place right across the street that was still open so we ran across the street and each ordered a couple slices of pizza.  the joint was pretty busy with the after bar crowd so after we got our pizza we walked back across the street and sat down in the middle of the sidewalk for a pizza picnic while we waited for Maxx.  So fun and random, having a picnic in the middle of a random sidewalk at 2am at the oceanfront!

Then comes Sunday, our anniversary!  We lounged together in bed for a while before finally deciding to get up out of bed and get the day started.  We made a pot of French vanilla coffee – to go.  Showered and headed out.  Our plan for the day was to grab a picnic lunch at Taste (since I have heard they have the best sandwiches in the area and have never yet tried them) then head to Saude Creek Winery for some music and wine on the patio, with a picnic lunch.  After reminiscing back over all of our past anniversaries, I came to the realization that they all had something in common… wineries or wine bars.  Year one Eric took me to Smokey Hill Winery in Salina, KS, my favorite winery that is now shut down.  Year two after moving to Virginia Beach we went to Lubo wine bar and had some drinks together.  Year three we celebrated at the Mermaid Winery.  I saw it only fitting that we continue this subconscious tradition of ours.  We hit the road and got our picnic lunch from Taste.  It ended up being later than we anticipated by the time we got on the highway to head to the winery.  After seeing all the traffic back up and realizing the time, we decided to save ourselves the headache of traffic and just find some place local for our picnic.  I got off the highway at the next exit and just drove around looking for the perfect spot.  We came across a part in Norfolk and quickly pulled in. We found a somewhat secluded picnic area and enjoyed our picnic lunch together.  It was not our exact plan but we were both able to go with the flow and create a new plan at the spur of the moment that was just as perfect.  We walked around the park for a little while after eating, then headed to our Mermaid winery for a glass of wine to still continue our tradition.

After a fun filled weekend of excitement, romance and celebration we headed home Sunday afternoon.  Time to snuggle with our girls at home, relax and just be together.  We just lounged around in our underwear the rest of the evening.  🙂

It truly was a great weekend.  Looking at the clock at 8:30pm on Sunday night I wanted to somehow stop the clocks and not let the rest of the weekend slip away.  It was so great I didn’t want it to end.   It was a very much needed great weekend.  A time for us to spend a lot of quality time together and to just start to reconnect as a couple again.  To do things together, and to do nothing together.  Those little things can easily be taken for granted and this weekend helped me to re-realize how important those things are.

Happy Anniversary To The Love Of My Life

This Sunday, July 28, 2013 marks the four year anniversary for me and Eric.

While the path has been a rocky one, especially lately, I wish for no one but him to share that rocky path with.  When we met we started out as friends.  A friendship that grew into something more amazing than I could have ever imagined.  He helped me to heal from the past and showed me that there is a such thing as true love.  He showed me that love isn’t just a fairy tale and that it was possible to fall in love madly and completely.  He showed me that it was possible to find everything you ever dreamed of in a man, and even things you didn’t even know you wanted.  He showed me how to love again, how to open my heart up again, and how to trust again.  He renewed my faith in that thing we call love.

Four years seems like such a short amount of time, yet I can’t even hardly remember a time when he wasn’t with me.  When I think about it, it has only been four years, yet it seems like it has been so much longer than that.  We have a life planned together and as hard as it is sometimes to not just throw my hands up in the air and run away when things get so tough, I know that would be nothing but a mistake.  No matter how crazy I get, he is always the one who pulls it all back together and assures me that we will get through all of this too, just as we have everything else that threw itself in our path.

He makes me crazier than I have ever felt, more vulnerable and insane… yet he gives me strength, support, hope, encouragement, and most of all unconditional love.

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life, the man of my dreams, my hero, my everything.   Here is to the last four years, the first four years of our life together, and the many many more years yet to come.  I love you with all of my heart and soul.

1325 Buddhist Ways to Be Happy – Day Two

Loving

 

“From a quiet, loving place, bless all creation.  Just quiet the mind and send love out to the ends of the universe, unconditionally.  What you give is what you get.  This is an exercise to strengthen your ability to love.”

“Begin right now by engaging love and compassion however you can – not tomorrow but today.”

“Let the people in your life, especially your life partner, be as they are.  They have to go through whatever their life demands of them.  Love them without wanting them to be anything other than what they are.  Love them without controlling them.”

 

 

The Meaning of Life… or, What Love Means To Me

Two separate titles for one single blog.  I had a hard time deciding between the two titles and it addresses both, therefore the double title.

A question that everyone asks at least one point in their lives… What is the meaning of life?

Here is my take on it.  I believe that the answer to this question is different for each person.  And I also believe it is different for each life you live.  As one who fully believes in reincarnation, I believe that each life you live you have a different mission or goal in life to accomplish.  Some main goal or issue to reach and address in an attempt to reach your ultimate nirvana.

For some people their goal for this life is to obtain success, freedom, peace, confidence, family, love, or a plethora of other personal attributes.  Others it may be to reduce anger or temper issues or hatred.  For others it may be a religious aspect.  But rather than get into a huge, long philosophical religious rant, I want to tell you what it means to me.

To me, in this life the answer to that question is… Love.

From a young age, people search for and seek out someone to share experiences with.  Whether it be friends or romantic interests, heterosexual or homosexual, just about every single person has the same major goals in common.  Shelter, nourishment, and companionship.  People spend their lives looking for companionship, for the perfect man or woman, for their soul mate.  Few are lucky to find that person early, to share their lives with.  Most go through one after another, searching most of their lives for the perfect compliment to themselves.

Love is the most important thing.  It can be the best thing you have ever experienced and alternately the worst.  It is like trial and error.  You go through several different kinds of people, learning what you want and do not want out of that perfect partner.  When you finally do find him or her you create a relationship.  You grow and nourish it, and fight to keep them.  It takes daily effort.

When I love, I love with my whole heart, mind, body and soul.  I put everything I have into that relationship.  When something causes stress or turmoil in that relationship it turns my entire world upside down.   I am a very emotional person by nature, and when something happens to test my emotions even further I am even more of an emotional roller coaster than typical.  I become more vulnerable and much more sensitive to things that may not bother me as much on a normal, typical day for me.

 

 

The Book Of Our Lives – Writers Block

This month will be the fourth year anniversary for me and Eric.  Each year, I write a new chapter in the book of our lives.   It serves as a highlight of our past year together.  The good times, the bad times, our milestones, our accomplishments, our struggles and most of all… Our Love.

I started working on Chapter Four this week.  This is the hardest chapter yet.   I looked back at the previous three chapters as a walk down memory lane.  Yet rather than making me smile, this time it made me sad.  It made me sad to see how much our relationship has changed… in a way that I did not want it to.  And because of that sadness, I found it very difficult to continue writing chapter four.

Year one was spent getting to know each other, learning to trust each other.  Breaking down the walls we put up to let each other in and to let each other help to heal the other from all of our past.  The second year was us growing into our new lives together.  Strengthening our bond and our commitment.  Knowing by then that it was he and I, until the end.  A year of continuing to grow together, transitions and milestones.  Year three was a struggle full of ups and downs.  We had fallen to lows that neither of us thought we would be at.  But through it all he stood by my side and continued to reinforce and prove to me his commitment, love and dedication to me, us and our relationship.  As hard as things got and as many struggles as we suffered and endured, we made it through and ultimately it brought us closer together.  It strengthened our bond and our commitment. Now, year four… it has been full of continued struggles.  Different struggles then we had conquered the past year.  Struggles that continue to put a strain on our relationship.  Yet what is different with this year is that I feel like rather than conquering these struggles and growing together as a couple, we are growing apart.  We are growing as individuals, yet unfortunately, growing apart.

This being why it has been difficult for me to write chapter four.  It is hard to look at the progression of our relationship over the years, and to feel like we have lost something somewhere along the line, to feel like we are growing apart and in different directions.  I have stopped several times and thought that once I was maybe in a different mood, or approached it with a different frame of mind, that I would have a more successful and less difficult time at writing.  So far, no such luck.