Happiness

 

They say that happiness is a state of mind.

Well, my state of mind is happy right now!  🙂

Lets go back to July of 2009.  Little did I know at the time that I had met the love of my life, the man  of my dreams.  A friendship between he and I had been growing and before the month’s end he would but aside all the cautions all of our friends told him and tell me how he feels about me.  Braving all consequences and the potential loss of a friendship.  But it was worth it.  As our relationship grew I was happier than I had ever been.  I had finally been able to see what real love is.  I had loved before, but never been in love.  But he, I fell totally and completely head over heals in love with.  He was everything I had ever hoped for, wanted and dreamed for… and more…. showing me what I never even knew I wanted.

Those next two years would be the best I had experienced.  Then somewhere along the line things started slowly changing.  Stressors, money and the everyday aspects of life begun to creep their way in between us.  One stressor built its way on top of another and before you knew it two years had gone by that was an emotional roller coaster ride.  Good times were amazing, but bad times were really bad.  Through all of the dark times my head told me to run but my heart would not let me.  I was holding on so tightly to the love we once shared.  The closeness that was once between us.  Longing for those times again, wishing for the past and dreading the present and future.

A change in state of mind was needed… for me and for him.  Once we BOTH realized and recognized that… we knew it was possible.  Things had to crash to the bottom and just about come to an end before we would open our eyes and see change was a necessity.  ..  For the both of us.

I changed my state of mind and how I react to many situations.  He changed his state of mind and behavior and attitudes towards me and our relationship. We started appreciating each other again, and placing more value on our relationship.  We made it a point to learn how to communicate with each other more effectively and in a more healthy manner and to talk about issues, no matter how small, immediately, rather than waiting for things to pile up and get bigger.  We are making more time for US… as hard as it is in this hectic life, with work, school, band, hobbies. friends and still making time for yourself.

And that leads me to today…I feel like our relationship is better than ever now.  I haven’t felt like that in a LONG time.  I felt like we had lost that connection and were drifting too far away from each other in totally different directions.  It takes work but it is possible to get it back. Everything was at stake… everything.  It was either find each other again or the worst possible option.   Even when things hit bottom, you can rebuild them.   You can find your common ground again and fall in love with each other all over again.  And honestly, falling in love with him all over again feels better than it did to first fall in love with him in the beginning.

For love… true love, it is worth every battle, every fight and every minute of the roller coaster ups and downs.  Because if, in the end, you are able to work out all of your differences and be even better than before… that makes it all worthwhile.

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