Contemplation

Contemplation1

This picture looks like a good place to think, contemplate, ponder the questions of life.

contemplation

Maybe with age comes more thought.  In a few days I will be 36.  It seems that hump over 35 makes me more alert that 40 really is just right around the corner.  Holy Crap, how did I get to be almost 40 years old?  I have always felt, acted and looked so much younger than my true biological age.  Hardly anyone would ever believe I was the age I am.  But these last… maybe two years, I would say that age has slowly started to catch up with me.  I am feeling older, which I believe in turn makes me act older, leading to looking older.

But when it comes to birthdays, no matter your age, I have always thought it important to celebrate birthdays.  To celebrate your life.  To make this day stand out apart from all others and make it special and memorable.  And even better to have someone in your life who understands that and goes out of their way to put towards the thought and effort to make this day special, and not ordinary.

I think it is probably pretty normal to start to take a deeper look at your life.  Are you where you thought you would be?  Are you where you want to be?  Are you working toward being the best you that you can be?  Are you surrounding yourself with the people who bring out the best in you?  Are you making a positive impact towards humanity and this universe?

What more do you want out of life?  Are you getting all that you need and want, feeling fulfilled?  If not, what do you need to do to change that?  Is it something that you can change in your current circumstances?  If not, will you be content to live life the way things are, without the changes that you are seeking?  Or do you need to change your life circumstances in order to receive that fulfillment.  It is easy to look toward someone else to help fulfill those desires, needs and wants.  But what if they are no longer able to, or choose not to?  You can’t change anyone else.  What they choose to do or not to do is only within them, and out of your control, no matter how hard you try.  So in turn, you can only control your self.  So what does that mean?  No matter how hard you try to amend your situation and circumstances to help yourself feel more fulfilled and satisfied with life, if you are relying on someone else for some part of that… you are out of luck?  What else is there to think?   What else is there to do?  I am not satisfied with that answer, yet no matter what I try or what other questions I ask myself, that is the only thing I can seem to come up with.

What do you do… when something is missing?  Something that you used to have, something that made you so happy, excited, fulfilled and connected.  Then for some reason, seemingly unknown, it fades away.  Sometimes it comes back here and there, but never stays as long as you would hope for it to.  When you can’t figure out, no matter how hard you try, why it went away and why it won’t just stay… like it used to.  When you ask for it to come back, when you specifically voice that is what you want, what you need… but you are still left searching.  What do you do?

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